


Life in Technicolor

by toffeeandcoffee



Category: Marvel (House of M), WandaVision (TV), X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Gen, POV Pietro Maximoff, Poor Vision (Marvel), Wanda Maximoff Angst, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:01:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29162328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toffeeandcoffee/pseuds/toffeeandcoffee
Summary: Peter Maximoff was used to weird. Being trapped in a sitcom with a crazy woman that thinks that they're twins and is married to robot, well it is different even for him. Still he's always been able to think on his feet. Time to find a way back home.
Relationships: Pietro Maximoff & Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff/Original Female Character(s), Wanda Maximoff/Vision
Comments: 6
Kudos: 96





	Life in Technicolor

When I say things were going too fast, you should know everything has gone to hell. So let's take a rewind, that is a joke by the way. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was sitting on the island in the middle of the kitchen legs vibrating at a pace just enough to make the average person/mutant dizzy “I don’t steal things anymore”

“You just stole Scott’s food, Peter,” Jean said, who is not a nag, just the designated defender of ray bands. Really her taste in men. 

“Oof well no evidence no crime.” 

Before Jean could say anything else I picked up the container that had stored “Scott’s” churros and I sped through the hall. I took a detour to carry back a student who was skipping class in what I hope was the right room. I’m still a teacher okay? Anyhow, I rushed to the yard so I could chuck any traces of the food. 

When I got to the pond, there was a freaking black, well more like red hole. Now I assumed that it was some student who was having some issues with power control. Not that it didn't worry me since I had just single-handedly rebuilt the mansion (Jean didn't do anything), and I didn’t feel like listening to someone yelling about the quality of some old dude’s daybed from 1846 (yes I remembered). Like an idiot, I went to get a closer look. 

Then I tripped, which I haven’t done since I was maybe nine. 

Now I’ve never used LSD, but I’m convinced this was what it's like. While I was floating through this portal I was bombarded with black and white videos of this guy who looked vaguely like me getting shot. Come on unrealistic, still freaky though. Then it started talking and The Voice was tooth rottenly sweet.

“Pietro, Pietro, Pietro. It’s time to wake up!” 

I opened my eyes which I forgot I even closed. There was a sharp feedback noise in my ears. 

The place screamed the 70s and I mean Banshee level loud. Not the cool kind either more like what my mom would want her house to look like if she had more money. So for sure not my teen pad. Not to say I have crossed out time travel because that would be great, but I needed to figure out if this was some elaborate set up by the Brotherhood or something. My dad’s been really all in my business lately. Before I was able to search the room for the third time, some lady in a weird costume with literal horns (if that's not a red flag) 

“Are you Pietro?”

“Well I mean I do usually go by Peter, but my birth certificate says, nevermind, where am I?” For a hot second the room turned red, well more like femtosecond, but who’s really counting. I tried to rush to the farthest corner from her, but I landed in a heap. Trip number two of the day what the actual hell. This feels like broken leg week all over again. She came towards me with a megawatt smile.

“Pietro, you have to get ready, I want you to meet my husband.” 

“Your husband? Wait who even are you?” By the way, I’m pretty sure I’m flailing on the floor.

“Oh don’t be silly it’s your sister Wanda. Did you hit your head running,” she asked me and her smile didn’t leave her face, but her eyes were like Jean turned crazy/my dad. So, time to play along. 

“Sorry uh Wanda, bad joke. Let's meet your hubby.” 

“Oh yes you’ve always been the funnier twin Pietro, but go easy on Vision he’s still new to..” she chuckled to herself. “humor.” The gravity seemed to get back to normal and I got up.

“Got it, no wisecracks, anyhow do have any food around here I could kill for some New York pizza,” I really hope I’m in America. 

“Even better I’ll be making a traditional Sokovian meal just for you!” She said, clapping her hands together. Is that a real country? She was looking me up and down. Okay so my jacket was a little loud, bite me. She pointed her finger at me and I could feel my clothes shifting (super processing is something). 

“Do you like threads as the kids say, Pietro?” Bringing me to a mirror that I’m only half sure was there before. I was the same handsome guy luckily, but I was wearing the ugliest and I mean ugliest bellbottoms. 

“Oh they’re totally tubular, Wanda” I followed her down the stairs to the dining room where the 70s crazed decor was even more powerful. I’ve always been paranoid about flies. I mean do you see how I run, but I think my jaw dislocated when I saw the thing sitting at the head of the table. A bright red robot and not the sentinel kind thank HaShem, but like the science fiction sort. 

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Oh, that’s the new china I just bought, come on Vision say hello to your brother-in-law.” 

The Vision thing came up to me and shook my hand in a strong grip, smiling with human-like teeth. I let go as quick as I could.

“Are you a robot?” 

“That would be a layman term for what I am. Does that bother you?” He seemed genuinely curious.

“Oh honey, don't take it personally. Now Pietro don’t be prejudiced.” 

Is it wrong that I’m weirded out that the wacko human appearing lady is married to a robot? Uhm No! I don’t take the word abomination lightly because I have been called it a few more times than I can count, but this should be used as an example in the dictionary . 

“You know me, protective brother, ” I said. 

She made a tutting noise. “Of course,” 

I think I have the hang of this game since she was smiling ear to ear as she set up the rest of the table. Sure the red robot was staring at me, but right now I just need her on my side I can worry about it later.

A loud ring went off and now she had an apron on. “ I forgot the Goulash!” 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And now a commercial break with a message from our sponsor." 

A man too put together even for an advertisement was surrounded by boxes of TVs, twinkies, and a Pac-Man machine. Overall it looked like Peter’s basement  
“New window cleaner by Trask Industries, gets rid of over 90% of germs”


End file.
